


The World Is Ugly

by DRandtheTARDIS



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Chance Meetings, First Kiss, Firsts, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:42:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5101589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRandtheTARDIS/pseuds/DRandtheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is recently 16, but unlike most normal 16 year olds he has spent the majority of his life in hospital, or in clinics.<br/>He hasn't been to school in years, and does his study online - though he has started to feel there is little point to it, would be a lot simpler if he did just die<br/>and stopped wasting everyone's time. But then, by chance, he meets someone that changes the way he feels about life and for the first time he starts to enjoy himself.<br/>But Frank's life is far from simple, and usually people don't like dealing with his shit - will this guy be any different?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm not okay

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting here and have not written fanfic for some time, but I do read a lot of it!  
> I decided for a change that I was going to model Franks life off of my own. Most of the things he goes through are what I have dealt with over the many long years and  
> it felt somewhat freeing to be able to move them to someone else for a little while, but be able to introduce some love into his life to lessen the burden he deals with - something I wish was as simple in real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on  
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> Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/DRandtheTARDIS/
> 
> For short fics & story updates, Gerard/Frank related posts, cosplay and other nerdy stuff!

The sun made its way through the cracks in the blinds that were drawn in the hospital room, and creeped up onto the bed. Frank let out a moan, rolling over to escape the mid-morning shine and pulled the covers over his head. But of course, as if hearing his displeasure, the door rattled open.

"Now, now Frank. Can't sleep all day!" A nurse who would be in her 30's said, pulling the covers off of him with a smirk. 

 

Frank rolled onto his back, staring up at her with a look of death. "Does my suffering really get you off that much that you can't resist coming in here every fucking day and being a pain in the ass?" he rubbed his face, sitting up and yawing.

 

The nurse giggled, folding the sheets back to the end of the bed. "How can you even suggest that, how many years have I looked after you?"

 

"To many" Frank retorted, poking his tongue at her as she helped him out of bed. Of course, this was just the usual routine they played every morning - smart ass remarks, shit talking...all to keep spirits up really. In truth Frank cared deeply for Liz, she spent a great deal of time being there for him, even when his own parents couldn't be due to work and them having lives of their own which he commonly insisted they lived rather than sitting around his boring old room every day. Frank had been here for a solid three years now, and before that he was in and out for another 4 or 5 - back then he was able to go home every other week and attempt to live semi normal but lately things had been hard. Getting to the hospital so often took a good forty or fifty minutes and things had taken a bit of a downward turn health wise. He was lucky, in a way he figured...not every hospital was so accommodating to such long term needs. He had, for the most part, his own room (though he has had to share a few times when there was over crowding) and a nice bathroom to himself. Standing before the mirror that stretch the entire wall, wearing only his boxers, he turned on the spot inspecting himself.

 

Liz leaned against the door, head resting against her arm as she watched him. "I think you just enjoy looking at yourself" she pointed at.

 

"Oh yea, nothing gets me hotter than a pale, underweight teen with muscle atrophy. My ultimate fetish" he gestured to himself, looking a little disappointed but keeping a shallow smile.

 

Liz frowned, people who didn't know Frank got the impression he was a relatively happy person despite his life style...but she knew that wasn't true. Frank hated himself, almost disgusted. She had found him many years back when she was new to being his nurse, sitting on the shower floor in his room with blood all over the place and cut up wrists. It was that night that she felt like she needed to do her best to look after him, who else did he have? They had gotten through that together, and for now at least he had moved away from such drastic solutions to his problems - though she honestly couldn't blame him, she was sure she would feel the same in his place. "Well, that butt is still pretty cute at least" she winked with a giggle and threw him his clothes, "I am going to grab your morning medication while you get dressed alright? Be back in ten." She gave him one last smile and closed the door, leaving him to his own thoughts.

 

Frank pulled on the dark tight jeans, slipped on a plain shirt and then rummaged around in his draw, pulling out some black eyeliner. With the skill that accompanied years of practice he quickly put it on and then looked at himself in the mirror again. "Half decent I guess" he mumbled, turning on the spot. Frank was pretty self conscious about his body and liked to do his best to hide the obvious problems he had with a decent fashion sense. He sighed, picking up his tooth brush and washing the taste of last nights drugs out of his mouth.

 

Liz came back into the hospital room holding a tray and she sat down on the bed just as Frank walked out of the bathroom. "My my, I will be honesty Frankie...eyeliner suits you" she gave a mock whistle and signaled for him to come sit next to her. Liz handed him a small cup with a variety of pills and he downed them with some water while she pulled out a syringe. "Sorry about the pinch" she said, sticking it into his arm. Frank gave a small moan as it was pushed into his muscle but had gotten used to it by now. "I just need one last thing" Liz said, taking a new needle out of the small container.  
  
"More blood? Going to fucking drain me dry if you keep this up. You people are worse than vampires." Frank sat there in silent protest as he gave away his precious blood, but if they needed it then there wasn't much he could do. "I don't suppose you have heard anything from my parents?" he quietly asked as she put a small cotton ball over the wound - waiting for the blood to clot.

 

Liz gave him a smile, "I think they are planning to come in Monday afternoon..." 

 

Frank just nodded, and moved back into bed - reaching for the comic he had on the nightstand. He always found comfort in the old comics, specifically the 'Phantom'. It was something about the art work that really spoke to him, it was an escape from the harsh reality. He could dive into another world and spend hours enjoying the fantasies and ideas. He had a shelf in his room that contained a huge pile of comics, and spent the better part of each day reading and drawing his own artwork, though it never felt like it quite measured up to that level - but he enjoyed it, and that is all he cared about. The rest of the afternoon was pretty standard, a few more blood draws and a lot of comic books alongside shitty hospital food.  _I wonder if this will be what my life amounts to,_ Frank thought to himself. Almost instinctually he looked over at the laptop and folder on the desk where his school work was kept and sighed.  _I guess I should probably do something._ Finishing the page he was on, he put the comic back on the nightstand and wandered over to the desk. He stood there for a moment, as though he was being taunted by the books and papers, finally sighing he fell down into the chair and opened the lid - getting to work.

 

It was already dark when he awoke to a knock at the door, and he realized he had fallen asleep on top of the keyboard about an hour ago, straightening things up he turned around and called out, "come in." Frank tried his best to sort out his hair, it was sort of everywhere - but he managed to pull it back under control. He looked up to see Doctor Edwards standing in the door, hands in coat pockets carrying his file with a small smile. He liked his doctor, he was calm and kind. he obviously had been in medicine a very long time, he knew how to talk to people and how they were thinking and always made an effort to personally get to know them to ensure they were comfortable around him. "Oh, hey Doc!" he said, rubbing his eyes.

 

"Afternoon Frank, I see you are hard at work with the study" he chuckled, pointing to the bed of papers and books Frank had napped on. "How are you feeling tonight?" he inquired, pulling a pen from his pocket and jotting down some notes.

 

"Not as bad as the other night, shit, but not as bad" he gave a weak smile, moving back over to the bed.

 

The doctor looked up, curious. "Oh yes, I wasn't on call the other night but Liz told me you had a rough time. You mind telling me about it?" Whenever he spoke, it never felt like he demanded anything. Frank always felt like, if he wanted to, he could refuse and that would be cool - it always made things feel a lot simpler and more easy going.

 

Frank nodded, and began explaining. "It started with pain in the chest and arms, then I began to feel sick and started throwing up and I noticed some blood. That is when I called Liz, but when we went to get back into bed I got really weak in the legs and fell down which hurt. And then the pain got a lot worse, and breathing became hard." Frank continued to give specifics, all the while Doctor Edwards just sat and listened - giving the occasional nod and small smile at his rather brave and rather young patient. After he finished reporting everything, he leaned on his hand and looked up towards the aged man. "So, I was told by the other doctor that my test came back negative the other day?"

 

Doctor Edwards gave him a sorry look and sighed, "Yes, I am afraid so. It turns out you had a false positive three years ago - which means when we went back to check a few things we discovered we made a mistake. So we are stopping all treatments and going to take another look at it. I really am sorry this has happened, we have been going in the wrong direction and whoever your attending was screwed it up. But these things do happen on occasion, it can't be helped. And the diagnosis did fit with what was happening - but the treatment is not working."

 

Frank looked hurt almost,  _this sucks...but it isn't anyone's fault I guess. No point in getting pissy about it._  "I understand, it's alright. Everyone's been so good to me here - I am lucky to be given what I need to at least get on with life." He smiled at the old doctor, and was pleased to see the pain in his eyes from telling Frank the unfortunate truth dissipate. But he sensed there was something else, something he had not yet said - he just hoped it wasn't going to cause him to much hassle like such news so often did. "There is something else, isn't there?" he came right out with it.

 

"Yes, we had a meeting this morning to discuss your recent results and tests. After realizing we had made a mistake and it had taken so long to fix, we wanted to do what we could for you as soon as possible. Now your previous diagnosis is gone, it does lower the possibilities and we have agreed with a possible explanation. The new idea would be similar to the last, and in fact it also explains why you haven't progressed any more than when you first came in. We believe the treatment we had you on was keeping the symptoms in check, to a degree. Stopping it from getting serious, or worse..."

 

"But...?" Frank smiled, fingers crossed.

 

"But, it will require a lumbar puncture and a few more rather uncomfortable tests. And...well, now that we have stopped the previous treatment you could be looking at a very fast decline in your health. Pain, paralysis some times, autonomic dysfunction and possibility respiratory failure." A look of worry overtook the old mans eyes and Frank picked up on it - if he was worried then it was clear the possibility of such things happening was quite serious.

 

"Doc, you have always done what's best for me - I trust you, quite literally, with my life. If this is what you want to do, then lets do it." Frank did his best to reassure him, hoping he could remove at least some of the burden of caring for him. This was the case in most people (and by most, he meant the 3 or 4 people he knew). He would feel guilty about requiring so much time, attention and money. So he would reassure them he was okay, even when he really wasn't. But he wasn't lying when he spoke to Doctor Edwards, he did trust him and had faith he would do his best.

 

The weathered man looked down at Frank, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "My boy, you are indeed a strong one...and you know just what this man wants to hear. I hope I can do something for you." He smiled at Frank, leaving his hand there for a moment before making last second changes to the papers in the folder and walking out. Before he could move, he saw Liz hovering around the door outside. 

 

"It's alright, feel free to come in." He waved her over, giving her a smile. But you didn't need physic powers to see he wasn't doing to well.

 

Liz sat down next to him, put an arm around his shoulder. "I know this is scary Frankie, but I really believe Doctor Edwards is your best hope" she said, in her most reassuring voice.  
  
  


Frank nodded, letting his head fall onto her chest as she comforted him. "Will it hurt?" he asked, looking up at her.

 

She seemed reluctant to answer the question, "I will be honest with you here okay Frankie, because you are not the little kid I found on his bathroom floor all those years ago. You have...problems...with your nerves, it causes some of your pain and other issues. Now, we will need to do an LP - which is where we take a needle and insert it into the subarachnoid space in the spine and extract CSF fluid. It can tell us a lot, the reason we haven't done it thus far is because HOW sensitive you are to invasive procedures. We have never seen someone so tortured by it. Just putting your IV in is like chopping off your arm...so yes, an LP is going to hurt...a lot. Probably like nothing you have ever felt before." A tear fell down her cheek as she was brutally honest with the young man she cared so much for. "We normally do it with some local anesthetic, but as you know the Doctor mentioned our worry with respiratory problems and failure. We are not sure how you would react to it since we have been using an ineffective treatment, and so it will probably be decided to not use it, making it more painful."

 

Frank nodded, keeping his head snuggled into her - not wanting to think about it. "Well...something to look forward to then" he mused, letting a few tears of his own fall down his face.

 

"Don't think about it now, you have a few days at least alright?" she rubbed his back, and wiped away the tears that were welling up in her own eyes. "Do you want any dinner?" she asked, trying to get off the subject.

 

"No thanks, my stomach is still not feeling great so I think I will just go to bed and get some rest if that's okay?"

 

Liz nodded, kissing his forehead. "Alright, I will let the cart know you are not eating tonight. Sleep well." She got up and moved to close the blinds, turning off the light and leaving the room - closing the door behind her.

 

 _Probably like nothing you have ever felt before,_ the words echoed in his head. Frank had dealt with a lot of pain in his life, pain akin to that of a cancer suffer - but to think he would go through even more was scaring him.  _I just want to die, what's the point in putting myself through all this any more?_ He let out a sigh as he began to cry once again, pulling off his jeans and shirt and dropping them in the chair near the bed, he slid under the covers and closed his eyes, trying to distract himself with thoughts about his comics and music. It didn't take long for him to fall into sleep and find a little peace.

 


	2. Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is not happy, Liz has informed him about the new guest he will be sharing his room with.  
> He didn't like sharing, this was his room and he deserved it with all the shit he put up with, but maybe he won't feel  
> the same once he meets this new patients brother?

_Frank floated slowly through his dreams, this was a time when he could escape the shit his normal day consisted of and me alone and in peace. This was his favorite part of the day, he was in no pain, he didn't have to worry about anything and since he didn't have to go to school or do a single fucking thing he could be useless and sleep as long as he wante-..._

Frank suddenly woke up as a knock on the door rang through his room, he sat up as if ready to scream at the prick who wanted to annoy him on _**SATURDAY FOR FUCK SAKE**_.He cried inside, "Why can't these fuckers just come back another time - I am dying five days a week...is the weekend off to much to ask?" He mumbled to himself, pulling a shirt on but staying under the covers. "Enter, at your own fucking risk!"

 

Liz poked her head in, it only took her a moment to see the look on Franks face before she realized he was actually pissed off. "Frankie, I am really sorry...I know it is Saturday but I have been waiting for you to wake up - it is almost noon." She said, giving hima  weary smile. "I need to tell you something..." she entered, pushing the door closed behind her.

 

"I swear this better be important" he fumed, tired and already feeling the pain in his chest start to build up.

 

Liz nodded, sitting on the end of the bed but keeping out of strangling distance, she didn't expect him to like what was about to come out of her mouth. "Okay, so...I know you won't like this but for a little while at least, we need to share your room." She spoke carefully, not wanting to annoy the already fuming young man who sat half dressed looking like he was ready to murder someone.

 

"What...?" he asked, closing his eyes. "What the fuck do you mean, there are plenty of rooms around here are there not?" Frank was angry, no he was furious.  _I can't believe I am having this conversation on Saturday morn-...afternoon. I want to be left the fuck alone honestly. Not bring more people in here._

 

Liz sighed, knowing this was how he would act. "We have filled up all our shared rooms on the lower levels Frankie, usually we have never needed to do this but there was a bus crash this afternoon a few blocks away and we don't have the space since we were already over booked. Your room sits in the higher levels of the hospital, which are double the size of the normal singular rooms because they are for long term patients. But there are only a handful of them and we just need the space. But don't look so glum, the man we are moving in here is in a coma - it's not like he is going to say much or need anything. We will put him in the corner and you won't even know he is here." She tried her best to sound positive about it, but she could see from his eyes that he really, really didn't give a toss about the details. 

 

"I don't get a choice in this do I?" He mumbled.

 

Liz giggled at him, leaning over to kiss his forehead as she lowered her voice, "Not a fucking chance, sweetie." She tried to hide her laughter but it was for naught.

 

Frank ignored the smart ass remark and fell down into his pillow, letting out a huff in protest to this new arrangement. "Fine, fine, fine. I don't even have the energy to argue...God!" he planted his face into his pillow and closed his eyes. "When will  _he_ be coming up?" Frank asked with a sharp tone.

 

"Half an hour, his brother will also be up for a little while just to visit after we move him - but I will let him know you need some rest but, okay?"

 

Frank just waved his hand at her, figuring there was nothing left to say.  He rolled back over, as Liz was getting up. "Might as well get dressed I suppose, would you mind helping me? I am feeling off today."

 

Liz turned around and nodded at him, giving him a small smile. "Of course" She walked over and pulled back the sheets, moving to the side to allow Frank to get up. "take your time" she insisted seeing the rush to get it over with in his eyes.

 

Frank nodded, and put a hand on the nightstand to steady himself as he stood. Slowly, he stretched and waited to make sure he was balanced. But as he took a step forward, his legs stopped working and buckled under his (not very imposing) weight. He fell straight down on his front, not having more than a moment to brace himself. As he fell, he smacked his head on the corner of the table that was next to his bed and landed with a thud on the cold hard floor. He didn't try to move, he just lay there for what felt like hours until he closed his eyes and blacked out. 

 

Liz raced over to him, grabbing him and rolling him over. There was a pool of blood forming around where he had hit his head, and she grabbed one of the shirts that was folded on the chair and placed it on the wound. "I need some help in here!" she yelled out, waiting for a team to arrive. Only a few moments later, a group of doctors came rushing in and took over - making sure he was still breathing and halting the blood flowing from the gash on the side of his head. Luckily, other than a mild concussion and a few stitches to the head, Frank seemed alright. He was out for a good few hours, but Liz kept a watchful eye on his room the whole time.

 

When Frank finally woke up, he just lay there with his eyes shut. Along with the normal pain, he now felt like his head was on fire and he raised a hand up to feel the grouping of stitches. "Fuck" he moaned quietly, and slowly sat up - but as he did, the pain intensified and the new wound pulsed with pain. "Fuck me sideways!" he cried, seeing the spots of blood on his hands. 

 

"Haha, I heard what happened - felt a bit awkward sitting in here while you were out, but your nurse said it was okay" came a voice from the other side of the room. Frank opened his eyes properly, giving them a rub to see a tall dark haired man siting on a chair on the other side of the room next to a new bed which housed the aforementioned coma patient Liz spoke of earlier.  For a moment, he just stared not sure what was happening,  _who the hell is this...and why is he so fucking gorgeous?_  Frank couldn't take his eyes off the man, he sat there reading a book with his legs crossed. He was wearing a pair of tight skinny leg jeans, a buttoned shirt over a short sleeved top, and a pair of black converse.he was perfect in every way. his hair, his eyes, his..lips. Frank swallowed hard, hoping this stranger didn't hear or see his sudden attraction.

 

Almost sensing the uncertainty emanating from Frank, the man stood up and walked over to his bed - he extended a hand with a cute ass smile, "Hey there, I am Gerard Way. And that over there is my Brother, Mikey."

 

Frank took his hand and shook it, not sure what to say to this god of a man. "Nice to meet you, I'm...ehh..." Frank suddenly had to think.  _What the fuck is my name, jesus please let this be the concussion talking._ A look of embarrassment crossed his face and his cheeks went red.

 

"Frank? Is that what you were looking for?" Gerard giggled and beamed another smile down at him.

 

"Yea, that's it - I'm Frank, apparently." 

 

Gerard leaned down a bit, inspecting the wound on the side of Franks head. "That certainly does look nasty, I take it from the red discoloration on the side of the desk there you fell on that?" Gerard pointed to the small table near the bed, the corner where his head connected with it still stained with blood.

 

"I think so...I can't really remember." Frank managed, trying not to stare at Gerard and his perfect body or really tight as-... _shut the fuck up, what if he can read thoughts? Then you're fucked._ Frank just looked about, still a little dazed. 

 

Gerard could see from the expression on his face that he was not all there at the moment, "don't worry, Frank. It's normal to feel this way after a concussion - things will return to normal in a little bit." He stood back up, putting his hands in his pockets and tilting his head to the side, looking down at the young man who sat there.

 

"I hope so, this really isn't turning out to be my best day..." Frank suddenly grabbed his chest as a new type of pain shot up through his lower body - it really wasn't going all that well. "Fucking hell, dying would be quicker" he mumbled, scrunching his face up in pain and rolling onto his side.

 

Gerard suddenly keeled down, weirdly close. "hey, come on now - you can't die so soon after meeting me. That would just be rude." Frank didn't realize but while he spoke, Gerard was pushing the small red button above the bed. Frank gave a little laugh as he held his chest tighter and moaned, a few moments later Doctor Edwards came in. And nodded to Gerard as he backed away, letting the Doc move beside Frank.

 

"It's alright, Frank - it will pass. Let me get you something to help." He reached for a key in his pocket and unlocked the IV machine that was plugged in on the other side of the bed. He took the small needle and pushed it into Frank's right arm. Quickly tapping it on, he unlocked the plastic casing on the machine and punched in a few numbers, with a buzz the lights came on and morphine pumped through the tube and into Frank's body. "Won't take long to work alright?" The doctor gave Frank a reassuring smile, and rubbed his arm. He turned towards Gerard as he walked away and spoke quietly. "Will you be sticking around?" he inquired.

 

"If that is alright, I have only been here about half an hour - wanted to spend a little more time with Mikey." He nodded towards his brother laying on the other side of the room.

 

Doctor Edwards gave him a smile and a nod, "You are welcome to stay as long as you want - would you mind just keeping an eye on him for a bit? Morphine will help but he is still going to be groggy." The old man looked over his shoulder to where Frank was laying on his side with his eyes shut as he breathed through the pain.

 

"Not a problem, seems like a sweet enough kid." Gerard felt a little sorry for this boy, Frank, Going through so much at such a young age must of been horrible.

 

"He is certainly a good lad" the doctor agreed, "thanks, just call if you need anything - can have the nurses bring you up something from the food cart."

 

Gerard thanked him, shaking his hand and watched him leave. "Feeling better kido?" he asked, looking over to where Frank lay sprawled out on the bed.

 

"Yea a little, head pain is going down but chest is still really tight." He groaned, but felt the morphine spreading through his system.

 

"Might take a little longer for the opioid to spread all the way through your system" Gerard said, pulling a chair up near Frank's bed.

 

Wait, how the hell does he know that? Wait, how did he know I had a concession? Frank was a little puzzled, "how do you know so much about all this" he asked, gesturing to the IV machine and tube in his arm.

 

"Oh, I work in the clinic uptown. I almost took a job here, actually. But I prefer the environment of a smaller setting, not so noisy and busy." Gerard settled into his chair, leaning back.

 

Frank nodded, "Ah right, figures. You look pretty young to be a doctor...don't mean that in a rude way I jus-"...he trailed off as Gerard chuckled and waved a hand dismissively. 

  
  
"Hahaha, i'm 26, Turning 27. I have been at the clinic a year now, I moved up here after finishing my residency in my old town. Wanted more of the city, more people." Gerard seemed to just get better. Sexy, caring, a fucking doctor. He didn't look like any doctor Frank ever had - pretty sure he would remember that ass if he did. He was young and funny, not old and full of spiderwebs (no offence to Doctor Edwards). And he seemed to care a lot about his brother.

 

"So your brother..." Frank looked behind this attractive man that now seemed to take a interest in him. "Do you mind if I ask what happened?" He wasn't sure if he was being rude or to forward, he hadn't actually made a friend or met someone new in years. But he figured Gerard seemed laid back enough to understand. So he stuck by his question and smiled up at him.

 

Gerard wasn't sure  _what_ it was about this kid, but something in him wanted to know more about him. He was cute, really cute, and he seemed to radiate a cheeky vibe that he loved. At the same time, he couldn't believe this kid was still even talking to him or smiling after everything he seemed to have been through. He realized Frank was waiting for a reply, "no its cool, Mikey had a drinking problem and one night decided it would be smart to leave a friends place on his motorbike. He had an accident and was flung across the pavement. Hit his head pretty badly and fell into a coma."

 

Frank was a little shocked to hear such an intense story, he looked down into his lap with a frown. "I'm really sorry to hear that, how long has he been like that?" 

 

"A little over a year..." Gerard turned in his chair, looking over at his brother. The pain on his face wasn't hard to miss, he really did love his brother. "Thing's aren't the same without him. Like there is a huge hole in my life, ever since that...stupid bloody night everything's just been one shitty day after another." He didn't realize it, but Gerard had started to tear up. He didn't talk about Mikey often, his parents were not interested in either of them and he had few friends to talk to about it.

 

Frank saw the raw emotion pouring from Gerard and it killed him, but he didn't understand why. Yes, it was a horrible story but Frank was holding back tears of his own - he hardly knew the guy? There was just something about him that made him feel weirdly close to Gerard, he cared in a strange way.  Frank felt like he had t do something, he could see the same anger and pain in Gerard's eyes that he had. This primal rage at the unfairness and cruelty of life boiled within him - Frank knew exactly what it was like, he also knew what it was like for no one else to give a shit. The immense loneliness that took over every waking moment and the hole it bore into your heart. It turned you into an ass, it blackened your heart and made you cold, Frank didn't want that to happen to Gerard...he couldn't. He was far to kind and sweet to be corrupted by such emotions. Before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled his IV out and was leaning across his bed with arms wrapped around Gerard. He inhaled deeply, taking in the wonderful musky smell of this stranger he hadn't known for more than an hour, but felt like he knew better than anyone. He buried his head into Gerard's shoulder and simply stayed there. He moved his lips closer to Gerard's ear and whispered, "don't let it control you. The pain and the anger take over after a while and it changes everything, it would hurt me if someone so wonderful ever stopped smiling."

 

Gerard accepted this hug, not evening knowing why he was feeling so intimate with someone so new, but he took it nonetheless as if knowing he wanted it. He tilted his head as Frank whispered in his ear and he could hear the years of torture and sadness Frank had endured pour out of his every word, this boy was no boy at all; he was a man. No one could understand this sort of pain and stay a child - like Frank had said, it changes you. Gerard had his arms around Frank, and found comfort in the closeness that he had not felt for a very long time. He finally looked down at Frank after a long moment, big sad eyes still damp but he had found a small smile. He had found a  _lot_ more than a smile...but he didn't understand it just yet.

 

Frank suddenly pulled back, cheeks going red. "I'm sorry about my horrible interpersonal skills" he mumbled, not having the courage to look Gerard in the eye. "I guess I have been detached form other people so long I don't know how to stop myself from just...blurting out what I think. Usually it doesn't matter since these are all doctors I have known for years and they know what I am like..." Finally he looked up, not sure what he would find -  he just gone from 0 to 100 in intimacy in .5 seconds, that probably freaked Gerard the fuck out. _Absolute idiot, why the fuck would you be so weird?_ he scolded himself, looking up. But he was met with an unexpected look, it was the same one he had given Gerard. 

 

"Please, never apologize to me for being the way you are. That was hands down the most unbelievably nice thing anyone has done for me in far too long. I can't believe someone your age and in your position could even connect with me or my problems, my issues are nothing compared to yours and here I am breaking down in front of you - but here you are, looking after  _me_ when you should be worrying more about yourself." He smiled at this strange, cute boy. And as Frank smiled back, he realized this was quickly becoming far more than he imagined it would. Suddenly Frank was rushing through his mind nonstop,  _could I really develop...feelings...for him? He is so young, and I'm so old. Not to mention the fact he may not even like guys..._ Gerard didn't care, he had not felt this way in years and like an addict he wanted more, he needed more. He just stared at Frank, unable to take his eyes off of him, wondering what must be going on in that head of his. He then imagined he probably looked like a complete dip shit - and swallowed, looking for a question. "So...I am curios, if it doesn't make you uncomfortable...what you have, and how long you have been here? All the staff seem to know you." He was suddenly filled with butterflies, here he was barging into some poor kids room and dumping his crap in front of him, AFTER he had taken a nasty spill, and now he was prying into his life after only an hour.

 

Frank laughed, giving off a smile that sent Gerard crazy - and he picked up on it to. "I don't mind, honestly. Well I have been in here for about 3 years straight now, before that I was in and out for a good 4 or 5 years but things got harder and finally decided to just give in and live here, at least for the time being. I mean, it was bound to happen anyway.  As to what I have...that is a complicated one, we thought it was this...God I can't even remember what they called it...stupid disease of some sort, but it turned out to be wrong. It took a few years though, as the medication they gave me helped clear up some of the symptoms and keep everything at bay - but last week when they were doing some more testing they realized their mistake. So now they have a shorter list to work with, and have a pretty solid theory by the sounds of it since the length at which it 'behaved' itself while on these other drugs cuts a few candidates off the list. They haven't told me the name yet, probably because they want to be sure this time, but Doctor Edwards told me I was going to need a...Lumb...um, damn it..." **  
**

 

"Lumbar puncture?" Gerard interjected.

 

"That's it, a lumbar puncture to test some fluid which should tell them what they need to know. But unfortunately they are worried that whatever is causing my problems will make using anesthetic dangerous, so they need to do it without. And I have nerve disorder, which makes invasive operations extremely painful. Liz, my nurse, said it would probably be pain unlike anything I had ever felt - though I don't know how that is possible at this point." 

 

The look of fear almost ripped Gerard's heart out, here was this boy who had stood face to face with the most horrible things, and now he had to have a needle shoved into his spine with no anesthetic. He watched Frank, it was clear he was trying to hide his true feelings about it all, but Gerard had dealt with people in medicine with similar feelings - he could see through it. As he watched, the boys heart seemed to crack and his hope seemed to die, a tear forming on the side off his face, talking about it out loud must of been hard and Gerard cursed himself for causing Frank anymore pain. Frank just sat there, a brave face on but looking somewhat crushed, Gerard decided he wouldn't stand for it and got off his chair and moved to the bed, putting his arms around Frank and hugging him. He smiled to himself, glad he could return the favor. "Now we are even" he said in a soft tone as Frank let his head find its place on Gerard's shoulder. The hug lasted longer than the previous one, neither of them needing to talk or say anything. They both just wanted to enjoy it, that is all either of them cared about.

 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Gerard carefully let go, standing up and moving back to his seat. As he did, the door opened and Frank's mother and father poked their heads in, "Frankie, are you awake? We got a phone call about what happened and came over to check on you." They entered, and then saw Gerard. He quickly got up, smiling at them. Frank's mother extended a hand, "You must be Gerard? Liz told us about you and your brother moving into Frank's room over the phone." 

 

Gerard shook her hand, and then his fathers happily. "Lovely to meet you, your son and I have just been talking. But I will give you some privacy, I didn't mean to stay this long anyway." Gerard looked over to Frank, "I'm glad we met, Frank. I will no doubt see you again very soon, that is if you don't mind sharing your room with Mikey and myself for a bit?" 

 

Frank beamed at the idea of seeing Gerard again, "Not at all, feel free to come by whenever you like - it was really nice meeting you as well." He gave a wave and Gerard picked up his bag and jacket, leaving the three of them to talk. Frank had to, of course, go over the very foggy details of his little accident with his parents and they both took turns fussing over his newly acquired wound. He also talked to them about what Doctor Edwards had said, filling them in on everything. However he suspected they already had an idea of what was going on. Still, it was nice to seem them as it had been a week or two since their last visit. 

The rest of the night went nicely, his parents left a few hours later and told him they would be back soon. Liz stopped by to give him his medication and he was ready to fall asleep, the day had been...complicated to say the least, but he was overly happy with how he was feeling. He slipped out of his clothes and moved under the warmth of the blanket, as he closed his eyes all he could see and think about was Gerard - he really had fallen for him, and he wasn't sure he could do anything about it. He had never felt this way about someone before.

 


	3. The Only Hope For Me Is You

It had been a week since Frank had met his new room mate, and his older brother. Everyday at around 2pm, Gerard would stop by to see Mikey - and Frank had started to get the feeling it was also to see him. Each afternoon they would sit by Frank's bed and talk for hours. Gerard would share stories of experiences in his clinic, and the horrible things he has seen (which always entertained Frank). The more he got to know Gerard, the more he started to see how much they really had in common. 

"wait, you're telling me YOU are an artist as well!?" Frank gasped, not believe this new information.

 

Gerard blushed a little, staying modest. "It's not your usual stuff, more along the lines of graphic images and comic book stuff, you know?" What Gerard didn't realize is the more he talked the crazier Frank went.

 

"Dude...comic book art is like, some of the best stuff out there! I spend 90% of my day reading comics, as well as messing about trying to draw." Frank pulled out a stack of Phantom comics from under his bed, showing them off.

 

Gerard looked surprised, "Wow, you have awesome taste. Did you say you draw as well?

 

Frank laughed, "I guess so, I don't know if it is any good - just something to pass the time really. Let me get my sketch book." Frank hopped up, started to walk towards the shelf near the back of the room. But before he got there he moved over to the wall, looking for balance.  He hit the wall with a thud, and slid down it with a groan as he clenched his chest. It was only seconds before Gerard was eye level with him, one hand on his shoulder. Frank hated being seen like this, it made him feel weak and ridiculous - but at the same time, he was glad Gerard was there.

 

"Woh alright, hold on." Gerard bent down and carefully picked Frank up, carrying him back over to the bed. Though he didn't show it, Frank's heart just about stopped when he realized Gerard was CARRYING him. He placed him down, and looked a little worried. "This is becoming quite a common problem..." he looked Frank over as he sat there, trying to hide his thoughts, still obsessing over being in Gerard's arms. "You said they took you off your last batch of medication to switch it with a new set, since the last batch wasn't targeting the actual problem. How long ago was that?"

  
  
Frank thought for a moment, "The day before you first got here."

 

"Rapid onset muscle paralysis, no doubt one of the symptoms the drugs were keeping in check. That narrows the list down quite a lot, I think I know where your doctors are heading now. Do you mind if I took a quick look at you? I know I am not your doctor, but just thought I would lend an extra set of eyes...if you don't mind."

 

Frank nodded, of course he didn't mind. _Please, go right ahead and touch me all you like,_ he moaned inwardly to himself. Gerard stood up and rolled up Franks jeans to the knee, exposing his lower leg muscles. He took a needle head out of the draw to the side, and gently poked down his leg, moving from the knee to the toes. But Frank felt nothing, which sort of worried him. Usually being stuck with a needle hurt like shit.

 

"You don't feel anything?" Gerard asked, repeating the test on the other leg.

 

"Nothing."

 

Gerard sighed to himself, putting the needle head down and taking Franks left leg in his hands. He slowly felt up the muscle, towards the back of the leg. "You have muscle atrophy in both legs, also not a good sign." He carefully rolled Frank's jeans down again, leaving his hand on his leg as he gave him a sympathetic look. "Don't worry, Frankie. I'm sure it will be fine alright?" 

 

Frank suddenly felt butterflies take over his stomach,  _he just called me_   _Frankie, Jesus Christ._ God, it sounded so hot when he said it, as if reading his very loud thoughts - Gerard gave him a smirk. **  
**

 

"I hope you don't mind me using your nickname, I heard Liz use it the other day." He already knew the answer to his question, as it was clear on Frank's face. They both laughed, enjoying the time they were spending together. 

 

there was a knock at the door, and Doctor Edwards came in, "Ah afternoon Frank, Gerard. Glad to see you are smiling again today."

 

Frank waved, but before he could say anything Gerard was up. "Doctor Edwards, Frank's muscle paralysis is getting worse. He just had a fall a moment ago, though not serious. he can't feel or move his legs." The tone Gerard used was strange, he was genuinely worried about Frank.

  
  
Doctor Edwards moved over to the other side of the bed, Gerard siting back down on the end. "Lets take a look then shall we?" He rolled up the ends of Franks jeans and did the same test Gerard had done only ten minuets ago. And, like before, he sighed at the results. "Gerard is right, this is getting serious. I expected as much when we took you off the last batch of medication but in under a week...I'm sorry to do this to you now Frank, but we can't put it off anymore. We need to do that LP right now. The sooner it is done the sooner we can get some answers and hopefully treat whatever this is."

 

Frank suddenly changed in attitude, he sunk down into his bed and felt like the world was coming to an end around him. He couldn't do this, he was terrified. "I...I don't know if I can" he admitted, looking down into his lap. 

 

Doctor Edwards put a hand on his shoulder and then nodded for Gerard to follow him to the door, he lowered his voice as Frank tried to come to terms with what needed to be done. "I think you already have an idea of what we are looking for."  
  


Gerard nodded, "I came to the same conclusion after examining his legs. This LP is going to be bloody traumatic though."

 

The Doc sighed, he was obviously effected as well at the idea of having to cause Frank any more discomfort. "I have been putting it off in hopes of finding a better way to get the answers we need, but this really is the test we need to do. I hope I am not asking to much of you, I know you two have only just met and all, but you seem to be getting along really well. Honestly, I haven't seen Frank smile like he does with you in 6 years - not even with his parents. Would you consider staying for the spinal tap? I can call his parents, but it will take them an hour or so to get in and I really want to do this now."

 

Gerard's expression changed from a worried look to that of a gentle smile, of course he would stay - he wouldn't leave Frank like this. "I would be glad to, let me ask him." He nodded to Doctor Edwards as he left the room, going to retrieve the tools needed for the procedure. Gerard sat down next to Frank on the bed, he looked down at him and saw the shattered look in his eyes. "If you want, I can stay for the procedure? It's cool if you want me to wait outside, bu-..." Before he could finish, Frank had his arms wrapped around him as tight as he could. He never wanted to let go of Gerard.

 

"Please...stay." Frank whispered. 

 

That is all Gerard needed to hear, he stroked Frank's hair and continued to enjoy the hug. He had not felt needed like this since Mikey went into hospital, he liked being there for someone else.

 

Five minutes later, the Doctor came back in with a tray and a few things. He smiled at the two on the bed, and at how brave a face Frank was putting on. Gerard hopped up, walking over. "Thank you, for looking out for him like this."

  
  
Gerard smiled, giving a little laugh as Doctor Edwards put his gloves on, "Honestly it feels like he is looking out for me sometimes."

 

The Doc seemed to nod in agreement, "That boy has a very large heart - he may not think so, but he has a huge capacity for kindness."

 

Gerard moved over to the bed, kneeling down so he was level with Frank. "Alright, what I need you to do is lay on your side facing me, and pull your knees up okay?"

 

Reluctantly Frank nodded, and shuffled over to the side of the bed closest to Gerard, following his instructions. Doctor Edwards took his place behind Frank and lifted his shirt, "I am just going to clean the area first alright? Nothing to worry about." He took a small sponge and rubbed an orange liquid over the spot, it was cold and smelt funny but frank lay there without protest. "Okay, I need you to pull your knees up a bit more - now, it is really important that you stay as still as possible while I do this, even if it hurts I need you to stay still Frank, okay?" 

 

All he could manage to do was mumble a yes and nodded, closing his eyes. Tears were already starting to form and fall down his cheek. Gerard moved to the edge of the bed, and took Frank's hands - "Don't think about it, ok? I want you to think about me, just focus on my voice and don't worry about it. it will be over quickly like it never happened, promise." Gerard held onto Frank's hands tightly, not breaking eye contact once. He nodded towards Doctor Edwards and prepared himself. 

 

Frank waited, it felt like hours had passed and nothing happened - but then, he felt it. It was unbelievably painful, he couldn't even fathom such pain. He started to cry more and more, but kept as still as he could. The needle was now 1/3 of the way in, and was moving slowly into the spine. Frank let out an ear splitting scream as it moved closer to its destination. Gerard put one hand to the side of Frank's head, brushing away tears as they trickled down. "Hey, just look at me. It won't be long, you are doing so well." Frank let out another scream in agony, and every time he did Gerard felt a part of him die. It was killing him to see Frank like this, the pain he was in must of been tremendous. 

 

Doctor Edwards placed a hand on franks arm and gave it a squeeze, "Just a few more moments Frank, hold on." He slowly pulled the long needle out having retrieved the fluid. Finally, it came free and he immediately placed it into the container and pressed a cotton ball over the spot. "Don't move yet, need to keep still for a little bit longer to be on the safe side. You may not feel well after this for an hour or so.' Gerard got up, and nodded towards the Doc that he would take over.  Frank was still laying there in a puddle of tears, not moving.

 

Gerard slowly rolled him over and pulled him into a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Frankie, but it's over now." He put his head on Franks and closed his eyes, that had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. Frank just sat there, arms wrapped around Gerard looking completely helpless. Finally Frank wiped his face with the sleeve of his top, and slowly moved. But he was met with a fierce pain, and couldn't help but yell out. Gerard got up and kicked off his shoes, sliding in next o him on the bed, he put an arm around his shoulder and Frank happily fell into him - letting himself be swept up in Gerard's smell and feel and hoping he could get lost, away from the pain. It didn't take long, but Frank quickly fell asleep, exhausted from the emotional event.

 

With a smile, Gerard let him fall into a deep sleep. He combed his fingers through his hair and kept a tight hold around the boy he had grown to care so deeply for in such a short time. It was without a doubt something he had to do, he had to try his best to look after Frank - he deserved at least that much from someone.

 

With a moan and a yawn, Frank slowly rubbed his eyes and opened them. It was night, at least 7 o'clock - how long had he been asleep? Then he saw that he was curled up on top of Gerard's chest, and he heart skipped a beat. He looked around but the room was empty. He then felt a hand running through his hair, and melted at the sensation.

 

"How are you feeling?" came a low, gentle voice.

 

"Like someone just jammed a fucking needle into my spine" they both giggled, and Frank looked up to see Gerard's big sad eyes fixed on him. "You didn't have to stay, you always leave before 7pm on  a Friday night." Frank felt a rush of embarrassment course through him. He had kept Gerard here half the night, and it appeared he had sat awake all this time looking over Frank. "You don't have to waste your night baby sitting me."

 

Gerard moved over a little, allowing him to look at Frank properly. "I'm here because there isn't anywhere else I want to be, I am not baby sitting you I am looking out for you. This may sound weird, but I have really started to like you Frank." The words slipped out as if he had no control, he really wanted to just get it off of his chest. "I know we have only known each other a week, but you are not like anyone I have ever met before. To be honest - and this is embarrassing - you have been on my mind a lot since the day I met you. can't seem to get you out of my head." He watched Frank as he told him this, hoping to God he wouldn't freak out.

 

But there was no freak out, or denial or anything. Frank didn't say a word, he just stared at Gerard like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Y-you...like...me?" is all he could manage, still in shock. Surely this was some drug induced dream.

 

"I really do."

 

It was like he was suddenly filled with ecstasy, all the pain washed away like it never existed and he took a deep breath, hoping his next actions wouldn't ruin everything. Frank sat up and leaned over Gerard, staring down into those big eyes and smiled, "Well, I like you as well" he admitted, pushing their lips together. It felt right, even though it also felt a bit wrong. But neither of them really care, Gerard put his hand on the back of Frank's neck and pulled him into the kiss deeper. Frank let out a moan as Gerard's tongue pushed into his mouth. Gerard rolled Frank onto his back, being careful as not to move to fast in fear of hurting the spot that took the LP. He laid over him and continued to enjoy the passionate kiss. He moved his lips down Frank's neck, planting kisses all the way down and listened to his extremely cute moans. He let his hand slowly moved under his shirt and feel the warm skin of Franks chest, he still couldn't believe this was happening - and it was Frank who started it. But he didn't want to question it, just enjoy it. The two of them lay there, connected in one anothers arms and moved their hands slowly over each others bodies, never breaking their kiss for a second. Frank could feel Gerard slowly rubbing up against him, and it was driving him insane. He just wanted to rip his clothes off, but he settled for teasing for now. Frank put a hand to Gerard's face, running his finger over his wonderfully defined jaw line. He could feel Gerard biting at his neck, pushing into him and he let out another moan. Frank looked towards Gerard, "This is so wrong" he giggled. "Taking advantage of someone so young in their hospital bed." He gave Gerard a sly smirk as he kissed him again.

 

"I know...this is completely wrong...but I can't help myself." They laughed again, falling into one another. But it was then that there was a knock on the door, and Liz walked in.

 

"Oh...crap." Is all she managed to say, covering her mouth as she tried to hide her smile. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize..." But she just closed the door, leaving them alone.

 

Both of them lost it, and rolled onto their backs laughing. "I can't believe that just fucking happened" moaned Frank. "You understand now she won't shut up about it - I am going to spend the rest of my time here being hammered about the details."

 

 

The rest of the night was pretty mellow, Gerard ducked out for a few moments and Frank wasn't sure what he was up to. He came back with a dork grin on his face, "So I was just talking to Liz..." he began. Franked interrupted by throwing his face into his pillow. Gerard laughed, "I asked if she would let me stay the night...I figured after everything that happened today, might be nice to spend some more time together." He kept that smug look on his face, like he had just done the impossible and was a fucking hero. Frank couldn't keep a straight face as Gerard put his little display on, "She said yes, under one condition."

  
  
Frank looked up, "And what was that condition?" he giggled. 

 

"We have to behave ourselves..." he winked, knowing Frank got what he meant. 

 

Frank let out a moan as if he was dying, "Oh course, getting cock blocked by my nurse."

 

Gerard snorted at his bluntness. "Hold your horses young man, I don't make a habit of sleeping with minors I only just met." The tone of his voice gave away his sarcasm, but Frank just nodded and smiled - he was happy to have Gerard nonetheless. Besides, sex wasn't exactly something he knew how to do really.

 

"I can live with that" he stated.

 

Gerard grinned, moving back over to the bed. "Good, because I didn't plan on leaving anyway." He pulled off his top layer, leaving only a skin tight shirt and slid in next to Frank, taking him in his arms and laying back - this was so strange. Only a week ago they were strangers who knew nothing about one another, and now they were doing this. He still didn't understand any of it, but he figured trying to understand it would just make it all the more complicated. Perhaps it was best to just see what happened? Frank buried his head in Gerard's chest, feeling the warmth radiate off of him. He had dreamt about this sort of thing but never thought he would ever get a chance to experience it himself. "You know, if this LP turns out to prove my suspicion right, and we get you on the right meds, you could be able to venture outside for a night or two." Gerard felt the excitement in Frank grow at the very suggestion.

 

"Where would I even go?"

 

He smiled, knowing there was only one answer he would give. "A date, with me, not in this hospital but in the outside world where there are people and things." He waved his hands about, feeling himself bubble with excitement at the prospect.

 

"I would very much enjoy that, I look forward to seeing what you come up with." Frank giggled, rolling into Gerard and cuddling up with him. They both laid there and slowly drifted off to sleep, both feeling satisfied with the unexpected turn things had taken.


	4. Strange Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is now realizing that while things are not exactly normal between him and Gerard, he likes them none the less.  
> He has never really gotten a chance to experience what love actually is, but is starting to feel it may be something like what he is going through now. Things are, for the most part, smooth in his life and maybe now he can actually get a chance to enjoy it.

_It's a strange thing, sharing a bed with someone. If you have spent a lifetime alone like Frank has, you don't know what it's like to have someone else with you – but even without experiencing it you know it's something special. That night, Frank had his first. The first time he had fallen asleep in someone else's arms, and like many people discover, the question he couldn't stop asking himself…even long after he had fallen asleep, was ‘how did I ever go without this?’_

As Frank opened his eyes, he realised he hasn't moved all night. He was roll exactly where he fell asleep – head on Gerard's shoulder and arms draped around his chest. He let out a sigh of relief, fearing for a moment it may have all been some fantasy he had concocted to escape what he had gone through. But there he was, this beautiful man lying next to him with an arm around him so even in his sleep he could keep watch over him.  It was the first time he had woken up in the actual morning, but he didn’t move. To break or change this moment would be a crime, he took a deep breath and reaffirmed his grip around Gerard. But as if reading his mind, Gerard rolled to face him and opened his eyes, even though he knew Gerard was – at this moment – happy, he could still see the looming sadness sitting inside of him. He would be sad until Mikey woke up, but that could never happen. A small look of disappointment crept across Frank’s face and he didn’t even realize he was doing it until Gerard spoke up.

 

“You are that disappointed to find me still here, aye?” But it was obviously a tease, despite his best efforts to keep a straight face.

 

Frank smirked and rolled over so his back was to Gerard, “Oh you know…it isn’t that bad, I guess.” He felt Gerard shift closer to him and drape an arm around his chest, pulling him in.

 

“This really is quite strange” Gerard managed, just lying there wondering how on earth things happened so fast. He didn’t feel like anything was particularly _wrong_ , but things were definitely not normal. Usually, Gerard spent weeks if not months getting to know someone before he even considered being intimate with them – and here he was after only a week. Either he was losing it, or this kid had figured out a way to get to him. Either way, he knew trying to fight it would be pointless. He had tried the same thing when Mikey had his accident, he tried to pretend everything was okay or that it didn’t affect him – knowing all too well that it would destroy his life. No, this time he would ignore his reservations and the worry that constantly plagued him and he would find the courage to follow his feelings for once.

 

Frank understood what he meant, “I know. I will admit my experience with this sort of thing is…non-existent, but I haven’t really felt close to anyone in a while.” Frank wasn’t sure where he was going with anything he said, but figured if he had made it this far by speaking bluntly then it wouldn’t do any harm. “Maybe it’s best not to think about it too much.”

 

Gerard couldn’t agree more, why overthink things when he could simply allow them to be. “I like that, let’s just do that.”

 

They both gave silent approval, and continued to enjoy the warmth of one anothers body. But, like usual, Liz’s ‘Frank is enjoy himself’ radar went off and decided now would be an appropriate time to knock on the door. As though he was being caught by some girl’s father during a mess about session, Gerard bolted from the bed and laded with a thud in the chair he had claimed next to Mikey’s bed, doing his best to sort out his hair and look innocent (even though he totally was.) Frank giggled to himself as he sat up with a small sigh, _why can’t I just be left alone._ “Come in, Liz.”  
  
Liz wore a great big smile, one of mischief and excitement as she walked in and eyed Gerard who was leaning on his elbows watching the pair while keeping an eye on Mikey. “Sorry to interrupt…” she started, but Frank could tell she was anything but sorry. “I just thought you would like to know, Doctor Edwards came back with some results from your test the other day. I’m happy to report that we have our answer!” Liz could barely contain her excitement at the news she was delivering.

 

Frank followed suit with his excitement and felt a weight lift off of his shoulders, “This is fantastic…”  
  
Shuffling through charts and papers, Liz came to one yellow form that must have been the lab results on the spinal fluid they had taken. “You have Guillain–Barré syndrome. Usually, we catch it within a few weeks or a month of it presenting as the symptoms are obvious – however like Doctor Edwards mentioned, the cocktail we had you on was keeping it under some level of control. We are lucky to have realized our mistake because a few more months and the damage would of been life threatening.”  
  
Frank looked over to Gerard, who wore a pleased look and then moved his gaze back to Liz. “So how do we cure it?”

 

Liz sighed, “We can’t cure it, Frank.” She saw the look of frustration on his face, but kept going to reassure him before he lost it. “But, that isn’t to say we cannot manage it. With the right treatment we will be able to give you back your life – you will need to take medication and come in for hospital visits, and there is always risks that go along with being ill, but overall you should be happy. You will be able to go home very soon, since the treatment can be done anywhere.” Liz was a little sad she wouldn’t get to see Frank each day but, was glad he could finally get on with his life instead of being stuck in this room.

 

“I can go…home?” Frank almost couldn’t believe it. After so many years he was sure he would never get the chance to go back to the way things were.

 

Gerard got up and walked over, “That’s right. You will need some therapy, especially in regards to your muscle atrophy. But that is easy stuff compared to all of this.” He waved his hands around, pointing at the IV machine and other medical equipment. As they all spoke, several other nurses came in and hooked up new bags of fluid and gave him some tablets. Gerard felt a sense of relief wash over him knowing Frank could get some of his life back again.

 

 

 

It had now been four days since Frank had started the new treatment, Gerard had been in twice to see him and Mikey, he would have come in more often but there was an incident at the clinic that was keeping him busy. Frank could now walk properly without falling over, though his lack of leg muscle made it painful – but he didn’t really care. Things were, for the most part, going smoothly and today was the day he got to go home. He would be coming back in a week or so to start therapy but it was a lot better than sitting around here all day. The afternoon was starting to pass, and he had packed his two bags at the end of the bed and sat waiting for his parents. It was good timing to, he was on his last comic book and was looking forward to getting back to his room where he had the entire collection. He saw Doctor Edwards and his mother walk past the window, they were talking as they moved for the door.

 

“Frankie!” His mother called as she ran up and hugged him, “I am so glad you are finally coming home! Everything is the way you left it, I resisted the urge to rearrange your room.”

 

They exchanged words and hugs, and then Doctor Edwards interjected. “Now, you are still going to have to manage pain I’m afraid – but we have some medication for that. If you notice anything strange over the next week before your visit, you should call right away just to be on the safe side alright?”  
  
Both of them nodded and collected Frank’s bags, making their way for the car. The trip was shorter than he remembered it being and they pulled into the drive way. It really did feel like years had passed, the garden had flowered and the trees were covered in leaves. The grass was cut short and everything sort of seemed so normal – but then again, Frank wasn’t sure what he expected OTHER than normal really. He offered his mother one last kiss before climbing the steps towards his bedroom. As she had promised, it was exactly the same – other than it being somewhat cleaner than he remembered. But even though he was glad to be home, he felt a tugging inside of him as he realized being home meant he wasn’t going to see Gerard every day…or maybe ever again. _Holy shit, I didn’t even get his number or asked where he lived…what the fuck is your problem Iero?!_ He dropped his bags and fell flat on the bed with a moan of frustration over how idiotic he had been. After everything that happened last night, he didn’t even think about it. “FUCK!” He yelled out, head-butting the pillow. “I know, I will call Liz and ask her” he mumbled, reaching for his phone, he switched his phone on and went into contacts. _For someone with no friends, you sure do have a lot of fucking people in your address book_ , he thought to himself.  As he scrolled down the alphabet, he came to a contact he didn’t recognize.

 

‘G.’

 

“Who the fuck is that?” It couldn’t be Gerard, could it? He never got his number so how could he be in his phone. Realizing asking questions while he was on his own probably wouldn’t get him anywhere, he clicked the small chat bubble next to the name and opened the message screen.

 

 **Frank:**  ‘Um, this is awkward but…who is this?’

 

A few moments passed, he racked his brain trying to remember if or when he added this contact. Then there was a ding.

 

 **?:** ‘Am I that easy to forget, Frankie? ;)’

 

 _Holy shit it is him, how the fuck…_ Frank just stared at the message. There were only four people who called him ‘Frankie’ and he was pretty sure his mother and father didn’t use emoticons.

 

 **Frank:** ‘Gerard…?’

 

 **?:** ‘The one and only! :-)’

 

 **Frank:** ‘But I never put you in my phone?’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘No, you didn’t – I took the liberty of adding myself while you were asleep. Just in case you forgot to ask.’

 

 _That cocky bastard,_ he thought to himself, kicking his shoes off and getting comfortable.

 

 **Frank:** ‘I was freaking out when I realized I hadn’t asked, glad one of us is ahead of the curve.’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘You really think I was going to let you get away THAT easy?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘I guess not ;)’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘So how is it being home?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘Weird, feels strange being back here after all this time. But I am sure I will get used to it.’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘The new meds treating you alright?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘Actually yea, compared to how I have been feeling they are working great. I can walk around and pretend I am not a freak of nature!’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘Then I guess you don’t have an excuse as to why you won’t come get dinner with me this week?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘I would probably agree even if I was dying’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘Good. I will pick you up at 7:15 Tuesday?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘I shall have to clear it with the dragon downstairs, but she hasn’t shut up about me getting back into the world so I am sure she will be fine with it. Though, I may not tell her everything just yet.’

 **Gerard:** ‘Yea she probably wouldn’t go for the whole 26 year old guy thing hey’

 

 **Frank:** ‘Probably not, as far as she is concerned you are 17 and a friend I met in hospital’

 

 **Gerard:** ‘Yes boss. I have to go deal with Misses Johnson and her imaginary shoulder pain, talk to you later?’

 

 **Frank:** ‘Looking forward to it :)’

 

Frank chucked the phone down beside the bed, letting out a breath of disbelief. _This fucking guy, he thinks of everything._ God, what was the outside world even like? People…ugh, he hated people usually…other than the one he was snogging. But he supposed that was the only person he would be paying attention to. _Are we…’together’ now? What does that even mean? I didn’t even tell him I have never had a relationship before_. Frank continued to have an inward conversation with himself on the matter, not like there was anyone he could bounce these sort of ideas off of anyway.

 

The sun had started to set as Gerard closed the clinic door and was walking to his car. The last week and a half had been quite…interesting. He still wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, dating someone ten years younger than him wasn’t really his style. Usually he _hated_ teenagers. But Frank was different, he was mature. Probably because of everything he had gone through, there was no time for him to be a stupid teenager and do stupid things. He had to grow up overnight and leave all that behind. Still, he didn’t care – sure it may look weird but he was technically old enough to consent, so there wasn’t too much of an issue.He flung his bag into the back seat of the care and hopped in. Regardless of where he was or what he was doing, be it driving, eating lunch or giving Mr Smith a prostate exam (he shivered at that one) Frank occupied the back of his mind. More so since the other nights session. Everything about this boy screamed ‘ _fuck me’_ at Gerard and he really did want to oblige. But at the same time, he wanted to look after him – he wasn’t some toy to be used and thrown away. He was, though he would not openly admit it, starting to feel something real for this kid. He shook his head, trying to get the distraction out of his mind as he turned into his street. Gerard didn’t live in an overly huge place, it was spacious enough for a single person. The walls were covered in canvas paintings and drawings that really brought the place to life, at least he thought so. He threw his keys into the bowl by the door and flung off his jacket, jogging upstairs to the bedroom. “It has been a long day” he mumbled, tugging off his shirt and pants. He eyed the bathroom across the hallway and decided to take a shower before collapsing in bed. The water felt amazing on his skin, and he placed his head against the tiled wall. He was fighting the urge to pleasure himself to the thoughts of Frank. Even for him – someone who had taken part in a myriad of sexual escapades – it seemed a little wrong. He was still young, regardless of how he felt. That didn’t mean he was going to give up, but he was going to treat this situation differently than his usual routine of a quick drink and a bathroom fuck. Yea, those days were behind him. Ever since Mikey’s accident he stopped finding enjoyment out of such shallow one night stands, this was the first time he had actually felt happy with his life in a while. He finally decided to ignore the erection and get out of the shower, finding his way into bed. He was going to at least _try_ and make this weird situation work. Gerard picked up the phone charging on the table beside him and opened his messages, looking for the name ‘Frankie’.


	5. Let the Flames Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer to post!  
> I have been a but busy and so have been slowly writing it on my phone whenever I had spare time.  
> Start to get heated in this chapter, and next chapter will follow along with that!
> 
> Also, there seemed to be a weird spacing issue when moving text from my phone to the Ao3 Rich Text input,  
> thus resulting in double spacing. I have fixed it from chapter 5 onward, and will go back and fix it in earlier chapters when   
> I have some spare time!

"So, Can I?" Frank fidgeted at the table, playing with his breakfast.

 

"You have only been home a few days, Frankie. I don't really want you going out." Linda sighed, she had a hard time saying no to Frank. He had been such a trooper these past few years, and now she was being the bad guy.

 

"But look at me! I'm fine, one night won't kill me...probably. I have been stuck in that fucking place forever!"

 

"Language!" Came a voice from the other room, as his father walked into the kitchen. "But I agree with Frank on this one, he has proven he's mature - I don't think there will be any harm in letting him have some fun." Anthony loved his boy, though he sometimes wasn't as open with his feelings as he would of liked to be. "I'm sure Frank's itching to get out there and pursue all those teenage girls he has missed out on, am I right son?" He winked over at Frank, ignoring the disapproval on Linda's face.

 

"Ah...yea, I guess haha." Frank hadn't exactly been up front with the whole being gay thing. To be honest, it hasn't really come up, he never needed to breach the subject since there was no one he ever liked...until now. But this wasn't the time to bring it up, not if he wanted to see Gerard tonight. Both his parents were strong believes in their Christian values and he wasn't in the mood for theological debate. "I'm just going to see a movie and get food with a friend, another kid I met in hospital." He hated lying to his parents, but there wasn't much choice.

 

"I really don't know Frankie..." Linda gave him that 'I love you but I am doing what's best for you' look which she so professionally wore.

 

"Oh for God sake, Linda" came Anthony's disapproval. "The boys almost 17. Let him be would you." His father rarely brought ok a stern tone, but he seemed rather defensive on the matter - something Frank was grateful for.

 

"Well I see I'm outnumbered here...I suppose I have to agree, but you have to promise me you'll be safe and phone if something goes wrong. Okay?"

 

Excitement swept through Franks body, but he held in his urge to jump about. "Yes Ma, promise." He walked over and hugged her, and then his father. They both smiled and he made his way up stairs to his room.

 

As he laid down on the bed, enjoying the sense of accomplishment his phone vibrated in his pocket.

 

 **G** : "We on for tonight?"

 

 **Frank:** "Yep! Just finished convincing parents." He smiled as he sent the message, while the deception wasn't something he liked, the situation was rather exhilarating nonetheless.

 

 **G** : "Good :) I'll see you this afternoon then. X"

 

Frank slid the phone back into his pocket, peering over to the wardrobe. If he was going to spend the evening with Gerard, he was going to make sure he dressed appropriately, which meant in a way that would drive hi crazy. He jumped up, and opened the cupboard, pushing around clothes until he found a white and green half-sleeved shirt, "slim fit...perfect" he mumbled throwing it towards the bed. He picked out his tightest jeans which had holes near the knees and of course, a pair of black converse. He piled them on the end of the bed and nodded, satisfied with the choices he had made. But there wa something missing..."Of course" he grinned, finding his way to the draw and fishing out a black eyeliner. Looking down at his watch, he realised he still had a few hours before he had to get ready. It was then the evil spirit that inhabited his laptop and books called out to him and reluctantly he gave in, sitting down at his desk and getting to work on the assignments that had started to pile up over the last two weeks.

 

It had been painful, arduous and boring but Frank had managed to compete the two assignments he had been ignoring. He threw his books into a pile on the side of the desk and leaned back on his chair, only now was he starting to feel the pain he was actually in. His legs were killing him, where he had lost a large percentage of his muscle, as well as having nerve damage. He reached down and massaged his thigh, letting a small moan of discomfort out. With silent disapproval he reached over and fished out a glass bottle and syringe from his bag. Quickly filling the syringe with 5mg of morphine he slowly pushed it into his arm, twitching at the pain. It wasn't a lot, but it would be enough to take the edge off. Last thing he wanted to do on his date was throw up. He places the syringe back into the box and dabbed the injection point with a small cotton ball. Drugs, the only reason he could walk or talk, they made him feel like shit but what else could he do? He peered over at his watch, and realised he only had thirty minutes before Gerard would arrive - time had gotten away from him while he was stuck in his study-verse. He got up and pulled himself over to the bathroom, quickly stripping down and jumping into the warm shower. Usually when he was in pain, he would sit in the shower for hours and let the scolding hot water run over his muscles to help alleviate some of the pain, but there simply wasn't time for that now. As fast as he had gotten in, he was out and drying off. He found the clothes he had set out and slipped into them, applying his eyeliner in the mirror. There was a knock on his bedroom door and his mother poked her head in.

  

"Well...you certainty look...interesting." She seemed to be a little uncertain.

 

"Oh, gee, thank you so much. I wasn't going for nice or hansom, I was going for interesting." Frank rolled his eyes, sitting down and doing up his laces.

 

Linda gave him a blank look, she had always been horrible with sarcasm. "I just didn't know boys wore make up...?"

 

Frank almost lost it, "I'm not wearing...fuck it I give up." He laughed, running a hand through his hair and picking up his jacket. "I'm going to go now, see you later on."

 

The look of worry was plain on his mothers face, but she didn't say anything - just nodded and went back downstairs.

 

As he walked past the mirror, he gave himself a quick look at, feeling somewhat satisfied. He had never liked his body, especially his legs - they were nothing but pain to him, but others didn't seem to think that way.There was a ding from the bedside table and he picked up the phone, bolting for the stairs.

 

G: "Parked a few houses down when you are ready, no rush."

 

Frank liked the way Gerard went about things, everything was so laid back and simple. He didn't push Frank or expect anything from him, he just wanted to make him happy - and it was working. Frank picked up the black leather jacket from the back of his door and slipped his phone and wallet into the inner pocket. Quickly he checked himself in the mirror and redid his hair, though it ended up exactly the same style as before.  
As he made his way downstairs he called out, knowing his parents would be in the lounge room. "I'm off! Don't wait up."

 

"Have fun, Frankie!" Called his father, he could sense his mothers silent disapproval but ignored it, making for the door and gazing down the street. At this time of day, it was pretty much empty - so the sleek black car wasn't hard to spot. He took a deep breath as the nerves kicked in and Wales up beside it.

 

Gerard rolled down the window, "Need a lift somewhere cutie?"

 

"I don't know, not really supposes to get into strange cars with strange men." Frank teased with a lay smile.

 

"But you're going to anyway" Gerard smiled back, leaning over and opening the door. Frank jumped in, and immediately leaned over towards Gerard, placing a hand very high up on his inner thigh and kissed him, taking in the wonderful taste of his lips and his irresistible smell he had grown to crave.

 

After a moment, they broke and Gerard seemed somewhat surprised, "Well...that was easier than I expected."

 

Frank blushed a little at his momentary courage. "Hard to resist." He mumbled, pulling his seat belt on.

 

Gerard simply grinned, happy with how the evening was already going. "We best be off then!" He said rather enthusiastically.

 

"Where exactly is it we are going!"

 

"Just a little place I know, you'll like it."

 

Frank just nodded, knowing it didn't matter where he and Gerard went - he would be happy. After they had been on the road for a a few minutes, Frank managed to con Gerard out of his phone password and started browsing through his playlists. it dawned on him that this guy actually had decent music taste similar to his own. "Paramore" he quickly went into the album and picked out one of his all time favorite songs, "I can't believe you actually like Paramore. They are literally the greatest band."

 

"I don't go a day without listening to at least a handful of their stuff" Gerard remarked, giving a small sideways smile as he kept eyes to the road. They shared their favorite bands and singers, movies, books and most of all - comics. Frank felt like he could sit for hours and just listen to Gerard talk about his artwork. Frank built up some courage as Gerard was explaining why he enjoyed drawing over painting when it came to comic art, and slowly slid a hand onto his knee. Gerard glanced down and blushed, but went on with what he was saying as to at least try and keep himself composed. But in truth, just Frank's hand there was driving him crazy - he wanted his hands all over him and... _no,_ he thought to himself.  _Not yet, just wait and see._ For the next forty or so minutes they traveled listening get to music, chatting in between songs and making light conversation. Gerard seemed different now, he seemed more relaxed and laid back, whereas in the hospital he had felt a bit more serious. They pulled up outside a small little restaurant, somewhere out of town. The streets were more or less quite, and it felt like they were the only ones around. As Gerard hopped out of the car, Frank got to see him properly - he was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a half buttoned top over a black shirt and of course a pair of converse. He really didn't look like a doctor, he sort of looked like a high school senior. Frank giggles silently to himself.

 

"If you're done perving, I'm getting hungry." Gerard called out, giving a wink.

 

Frank sighed, realizing he was not as covert at his perving as he thought he was. He came up beside Gerard, looking down as they walked towards the restaurant. It was then that Gerard grabbed his hand, Frank tried not to show his excitement or act like a teenage girl, simply squeezing back and entering the quaint little place.  
They were greeted by a well dressed man, but it was suddenly clear he was in silent disapproval of what he was seeing - but disapproval nonetheless. Gerard gave him a rather serious stare, showing emotion Frank had not actually seen from him before, he was so kind and funny, but he seemed to take on a very defensive attitude all of a sudden. "I have a table for two booked, under the name Way." He kept his tone civil, eyeing Frank and still holding onto his hand like he was afraid someone was going to take try and take him away.

 

The waiter nodded, not speaking to them and simply gestured towards the back of the restaurant. Gerard took the lead, pulling Frank in the direction. They found their table at the back, it was cozy and tucked away which they were both grateful for - it's not like they were ashamed or wanting to hide, but it made things easier if they could dine privately without worrying about wondering eyes. They each spent five minutes or so  browsing the menu before making their choice, fortunately the women who came to take their orders seemed to find the idea of the two of them on a date cute rather than wrong. Gerard ordered a steak, wile Frank when with spaghetti. "I'll take e glass of red" Gerard added to his order, the women nodded.

 

"I'll have a  G&T, thank you." Frank tried to sound mature enough to get away with drinking, not knowing if they would check for ID. The women gave him a quick look, but just gave a little smirk and walked off towards the kitchen. Frank turned back to Gerard, who was eyeing him with a little bit of a condescending stare. Of course, he knew why - but he gave a dorky smile back and asked anyway, "What?"

 

"We both know damn well that you're not old enough to drink, and that you  _shouldn't_ be drinking, especially not on the morphine." He tipped his head to one side, leaning on his elbow and trying to keep serious, but the longer he looked at this cute kid with black eyeliner staring back at him he lost any hope of seriousness. 

 

Frank cocked a larger smile, "You know, you're cute when you get all authoritative on me." With a teasing wink, he rubbed his leg up against Gerard's, seeing the affect it was having on him.  _He must be going nuts_ , he mused to himself - he enjoyed teasing Gerard like this. He had first noticed it in the hospital, and over his daily visits it would become more and more obvious that while he acted calm and controlled, his mind was somewhere else. This time was no different, except now that they were out of the hospital Gerard could tease back without worrying about Liz catching him. The table they were sitting at was quite narrow, and Frank suddenly felt something squeeze his knee. He looked over and realized Gerard's hand was under the table, while his other was holding his big dorky grin on one elbow. But as quickly as the moment came, the young waitress appeared before their table holding their meals and they both snapped back trying to look innocent, though the sly grin on her face showed she was no fool as to what was really going on.

 

"Enjoy." She said, winking at them and walking off with a grin.

 

They both laughed, somewhat used to being 'caught in the act' by now after Liz walking in on them a dozen times. Dinner was fantastic, Frank had not eaten out in years and had forgotten how much he enjoyed the city life. The business, the people, all the tings to do. The restaurant had picked up a few more costumers now, and the noise level had risen somewhat. But Gerard and Frank sat in the back, sipping at their drinks sharing stories and information.

 

"So, what are your parents like?" Frank asked, taking a bite of the steak he was slowly devouring. But as soon as he asked the question, he saw the sudden change of emotion on Gerard's face - there was more to that subject than he first anticipated. "Sorry...you don't have to..."

 

Gerard waved it off, "No, it's alright I don't mind. My parents don't have anything to do with Mikey or myself, at all. Neither of us have heard from them in five or six years at least."

 

  
Frank looked shocked, coming from such  supportive home himself he didn't understand how a parent could give up on their child like that - even though he had not told them the truth about his sexual preferences. "I'm so sorry, that is horrible...but why?"

 

"You have to understand, they are devote Christians and when I told them I was gay, they kicked me out of home. When Mikey refused to back down, and supported me, they kicked him out as well. Since then I haven't heard anything from them." He let out a sigh, remembering the scream-fest they had all had that horrible afternoon, and the resulting consequences that made life very tricky - especially for someone aspiring to go to medical school.

 

Frank reached over, placing his hand on top of Gerard's and giving him a gentle smile. "I haven't really breached the subject with my parents yet - with everything that has been going on last few years never really seemed that important to, so I just left it. Eventually I will have to but...I think I am fine with just letting it be for now." Gerard nodded in agreement, downing the last of his wine. Dinner went on like this, back on forth conversation and laughter, both enjoying one another and the company each of them provided. The night slowly grew later, until finally they had finished eating. Gerard raised a hand, and a man from the counter came over with the bill, opening the black binder and letting Gerard place his credit card inside. Frank thought about offering to pay for half, but knew already that Gerard wouldn't let him - so figured he might as well just go with it. After a few moments, the man returned and handed the card over - but gave them both a look as if he was offended by their very presence. It was obvious there had been some talking up at the counter about them. Frank shrugged it off, he didn't give a fuck what other people thought.

 

As the two of them got up and put their jackets on, eyeing the door across the now busier restaurant, the young waitress who had served them came over grinning as she took their plates and glasses. "I just wanted to say..." her cheeks went a little red, and she looked down as she spoke, "I think you two are a really cute couple - don't pay any mind to those idiots at the counter."

 

Frank suddenly felt a little lost for words, couple...he thought to himself. Is that what they really looked like? To be honest, Frank never thought about this as a relationship - he didn't really even know what a relationship was since he had never been in one before.  "Um, th-..thanks" he managed, blushing and taking hold of Gerard's hand. The women gave them another smile and a wave as they walked through the maze of tables and out into the street.

 

It was Gerard who spoke first once they had reached the front of the car. "Sorry if the whole looking like a relationship thing made you uncomfortable in there...I would of said something but...I wasn't sure what to say." He just stood there, one hand entangled in Frank's and another running through his own hair as he tried to fight the embarrassment  that was building up inside of him.

  
"No...don't apologise" Frank suddenly interjected, "I mean...I guess I sort of like the idea...you know...of a relationship." He couldn't believe what he was saying, where the fuck did this confidence come from? He was the most socially anxious and awkward person in the world and here he was admitting something insane without thinking.

 

  
Gerard's eyes lit up as Frank spoke, "So, is that what you want...this...to be?" He have a quick hand gesture between the pair of them.

  
  
This time, Frank stood silent for a moment - completely unsure of what he should say. "Yes" he blurted out, "I mean, I have never done this before, ever. My kiss with you the other night was the first time I had even fucking come close to someone like that. There is also the matter of me being...." He suddenly felt a tremendous sadness well up inside of him as he spoke.

 

Gerard just looked down at him with those big sad eyes, "You being what?"

 

"Broken..." Frank muttered, holding back tears. He had never admitted it, but that's how he saw himself - broken, second hand, a malfunction. Why would anyone want a broken friend, or boyfriend for that matter. He couldn't muster the courage to look Gerard in the eye after that, feeling like he had been shattered into a million pieces.

  
Gerard also felt his heart ache, how could this amazing kid think he was 'broken'. Gerard wouldn't have it, not if he had a say in the matter. He bent down a little and wrapped both arms around Frank and lifted him onto his toes, hugging him as tightly as he could. "Don't you ever say that again." He looked down to see a teary eyed Frank, and pushed his lips against Frank's - pulling him in closer. "You're my boyfriend, and you are perfect - don't ever think otherwise."

 

Frank just nodded, taking the kiss as if it was all he wanted in the world and closed his eyes, letting his mind wander away.  "Boyfriend" he muttered.

 

"No..." Gerard mumbled back, 'MY boyfriend." He let his hands fall down Frank's back and pulled tightly as if making a claim of ownership to Frank. He is mine, and no one else's.

  
They slipped back into Gerard's car, but instead of the loud thumping music opted for something a little quieter as they drove. The whole way, Gerard kept one hand on Frank's knee. Frank finally looked over to he dork sitting next to him with a huge grin, "Um....where are we going?"

 

"Well I thought since it was still early you might want to come back to mine and we could find a movie to watch, you like horror yea?"

 

Frank's eyes lit up at the mention of horror movies, "oh my god you like horror movies to?"

 

"Um is that even a question?" Gerard gave him a wink, pulling into the driveway of a modern looking house. Frank opened the door and climbed out as Gerard fetched a briefcase from the back seat, papers falling out from the top. "Dammit" he mumbled, trying to collect them in order. Frank just leant against the door, staring at Gerard's ass as he bent down, he could do this all day.  Finally, Gerard got his shit together and found his keys. Frank wasn't sure what to expect when he saw Gerard's house. On one hand, he was a doctor and judging by his car a decently well paid one. However he wasn't the sort of person that seemed overly superficial. As they walked down the hallway and into the lounge room Frank fell in love - the walls were covered in canvases, depicting a variety of pencil and paint pictures from comic books and other animated characters, some of which must of bee Gerard's own creation. He stood in the entry way, just staring at the artwork that surrounded him on literally both sides.

 

"This is unbelievable..." He muttered.

 

Gerard poked his head around the corner from the kitchen, seeing what Frank was looking out. "Just some stuff I have done over the years - nothing special." He disappeared around the corner again, taking off his jacket as throwing his wallet and keys on the counter.

  
  
"This is definitely special, I have never seen anything like it. It's fucking amazing Gerard. Do you sell any of them?"

 

Calling out from the other room, "Yea I have done a few commissions here and there. But like I saiid at the hospital, it's more of a hobby. I don't care much for the money." He reappeared, shirt sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up and jumped onto the couch. "Are you jut going to stand there all night?"

 

Frank shook himself out of his daze, feeling a bit silly. He kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket onto the round coffee table that sat in the middle of the room. "You certainly are full of surprises."

 

With a cocky smile, he leaned back on the long couch and gave a small sigh. "You have no idea." Frank couldn't help but laugh at this huge dork, laying their full of himself - it was extremely cute. "How bout a movie then?"

 

Frank jumped up, and made his way over to the substantial collection of movies that lined the wall around the large plasma TV. "You know this collection looks like its bordering on obsession." He thumbed through the different titles,  before stopping at an old school horror movie he hadn't seen in quite some time. "How does 'Night of the Dead' sound?"

 

"Decent acting, special effects were impressive for the year it was made - the story is a bit predictable though."

 

"Is there anything here you haven't watched a million times?" Frank asked, tilting his head to one side.

 

"Hm, let me think." He sat up putting a sarcastic finger to his chin, "Nope! But I don't mind re watching them. They are all good."

 

Frank smirked, putting the DVDs he was holding on top of the shelf (out of order just to fuck with Gerard later on knowing it would get to his OCD) and slowly walked over to the couch, hands by his side. He wanted to be confident, he didn't want to always be the one waiting to make a move. He needed to take the first step for once, he stopped in front of Gerard who was leaning forward watching him as if he was the most interesting thing in the world.

 

"Well, what do yo-..." Gerard went to speak but suddenly found himself under Frank, falling back into the couch. Frank kissed him, hard. And he heard the quite moans of approval as he did. He bit down gently on Gerard's lower lip and put his hands under his shirt, feeling the soft warm skin. Managing to break the kiss, Gerard grabbed Frank's head with both hands, letting out a moan as he felt their skin meet. "You have no idea how hard it's been to keep my hands off of you, ever since I first saw you in that hospital bed."

 

"Well feel free to indulge all you like - no ones stopping you." Frank muttered back, pushing back into into their kiss. Fumbling with the buttons on Gerard's shirt, Frank finally manège stop pull it off - throwing it to the floor. He moved his lips down towards Gerard's neck, biting down harder than before, hearing a hiss of enjoyment from Gerard at the pain. Even though Frank's history with this sort of thing was almost nonexistent, he knew what he liked - and biting was one of them. He was curious to see how much Gerard liked it, and how hard he could go.  
He continued down, licking and biting his chest, all the while Gerard moaning and swimming in the ecstasy of his fantasy coming to life.

 

"Frankie..." He murmured, letting his head fall back into the couch and simply giving in to everything around him, Frank's touch, his taste, his smell, it all drove him crazy and he knew then that once he was hooked on it, there was no going back.

 

Playing everything by ear, Frank continued down Gerard's body - stopping to massage or bite an area whenever he moaned louder than usual. He could see what it was doing to him, and he loved it. He pulled his hands down Gerard's chest, stopping just bellow his belly button and slowly running his fingers around the top of his jeans. He looked up at Gerard, seeing the pure bliss on his face and smiled. "I could stop if you like...I don't have to keep going..." He said it with his most innocent and teasing voice, in a way that Gerard was almost believing him to be genuine.

 

"No...please, don't stop." He moaned, running a hand through Frank's dark hair.

 

"Say it once more."

 

"Please." Gerard breathed heavily and looked like he was barely holding on to his sanity, it had been a very long time since he had done anything like this.

 

Frank smirked and nodded, looking him in the eye as he kissed around his waist, undoing his jeans and slowly sliding them down. He continued to lick and tease Gerard's waist as he massaged a hand over the bulge in his briefs. Making Gerard moan was like taking a drug, he couldn't stop even if he wanted to. Seeing he had teased and tortured Gerard enough, Frank slid his hand into Gerard's underwear and started to massage his thick cock. He was somewhat surprised at how big it was, suddenly worrying about appearing inadequate - but this want about him at the moment, so he dismissed the though. He moved up and down the shaft with one hand, holding his other to Gerard's chest. Finally, he pulled off the briefs and all of a sudden took the head of Gerard's cock in his mouth.

 

"Holy fuck..." Is all he managed to say, moaning and pulling on Frank's hair.

 

Frank slide his tongue around, tasting Gerard's precum, he slowly went deeper - taking more into his mouth. He felt Gerard shiver with pleasure, so he started to move back and forth, teasing the head more aggressively. Frank then felt Gerard's hands on the back of his head, motioning for him to go further - he obliged, sucking harder than before which was met with more moans of approval and cursing. He could feel Gerard was getting close, so he slid back up to the head of his cock and began sucking, whilst pumping his shaft.

 

"Frank...fuck...I can't hold on, I'm gonna cum." He yelled, and filled Frank's mouth with his warm load.

 

Frank continued to suck, swallowing it all with a few moans of his own, never in his fantasies had he ever thought about anything like this, it was perfect. He pulled his tongue up the underside of Gerard's cock before kissing the head one last time and looking up at Gerard, who was laying there collapsed in a heap as if he had just ran a marathon, panting and exhausted. Frank climbed up onto him, kissing him passionately, feeling Gerard push his tongue into his mouth. They both let out moans of enjoyment before Frank collapsed into his arms beside him on the couch.

 

"You're amazing" Gerard pulled him in closer, kissing up his neck and running his hands down Frank's body.

 

Frank was satisfied with his performance for his first time, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

 

Gerard shuffled so he was leaning over him, laying Frank flat on his back. "Oh, I fucking loved it" he smirked. Frank felt Gerard's knee gently pushing into his groin, "Now it's my turn to torture you for a bit..." He giggled, starting to move down Frank's body. But Frank grabbed his arm, pulling him back to face level.

 

"Um...can we not...just not now." He mumbled, breaking eye contact. "I mean, I want to of course - I just...I can't right now..." The look of excitement faded from Gerard's eyes and was replaced with worry.

 

"What's wrong, are you uncomfortable with...this" he seemed genuinely worried he had done something wrong, or had hurt Frank.

 

"No, no not at all. Don't even think that. It's just..." But Frank trailed off, unable to finish his explanation.

 

Gerard simply looked into eyes and smiles sympathetically, "it's perfectly alright - whatever you want is finer, you don't have to explain yourself to me." He planted a kiss gently on Frank's lips, savouring the sweet taste.

 

A feeling of relief washes over him as Gerard sat up, keeping a hand on Frank's waist. "Thank you...I'll explain later okay? It's nothing to do with you." He tried to sound as reassuring as he could, worrying Gerard may have been offended or worrying for no reason. But instead, he simply nodded and then, in one swift motion picked Frank up with both arms. "Um...okay, this is new..." Frank muttered.

 

"It's time for you to hop into bed." Gerard smirked, carrying Frank up the stairs and into his bedroom. He laid him down on the bed, climbing over him and planting several kisses over his neck and lips. He pulled his briefs back up, but decided to keep the short off - he slid in next to Frank and took him in both arms, holding onto him. "Frank, you're mine."

 

The blatant statement took him a little off guard, but he enjoyed the idea of being owned by Gerard in a weird way. "I wouldn't have it any other way." They pulled one another into a closer hug, Frank feeling the bare warm skin of Gerard's chest up against him, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off in what could on be the most perfect way to go to bed. It didn't take long for Frank to fall asleep, and Gerard just laid next to him, arms around him, watching him before he to succumbed to the urge of rest - he had certainly used up all his energy. 


End file.
